Yesterday I ventured forth with a visiting friend to the Ferry Plaza Market Building (whatever the heck it's called). I had never been there, knowing it would be beyond my budget. It is beyond my budget but I splurged a little and ogled the $4/lb nectarines and peaches (I got some pluots the other day at 22nd and Irving for the remarkable and retro price of 29 cents a pound). We had chowder and salads and gelato, and I bought a bottle of blood-orange olive oil. Donna bought exotic cheeses to take home and we sat out by the water. it's a nice place, and perfect for
SALAD EATING SLUTS

Well, I am getting old. Not like that is any big news but I have turned into one of those sorrowful beatches beatching about hot flashes. I even joined a forum group called "Power Surge". Oh, just kill me now.

HOT FLASHES

Josh! Wish I could be there to hoist one with you, er, well, hoist my non-alcoholic whatever anyway. Had I known sooner I would have sent my sister as my surrogate. Actually she might be more fun because she could hoist a real one.

MANY HAPPY RETURNS

I fell down and scraped a bunch of flesh off my knee and twisted my back and am sulking.
No porn today - go away, I have a headache!!!

Happy Solstice!!

SUMMER GIRLS...AND SOME ARE NOT!

I was being a bad girl today shopping for completely not needed handbags. My sister and I both have what we call A Problem with handbags.

Speaking of which, this week's porn title is really pretty sick, in a low self-esteem kind of way...

BROWN BAGGIN'

One of the forums I post on now and again is having a discussion of grocery prices. Up and up and up. General Mills just announced smaller boxes, bigger prices soon. Kellogg's already did that. $1.49 for a single apple. $4.50 for a dozen ears of corn. Milk is slated to go up to $5.00 a gallon soon. We are going to be going on the "can't afford to eat" diet.

But, there is always an alternate source for milk...

GOT MILK? YES.

I've been waiting all day for a call about an interview only do discover that when my DSL temporarily went down this morning it also kicked off the phone. So although I got back online, my phone has been dead all day. I had to recycle everything just like with my modem, only the phone, and it's okay now. Oy. Nothing like making a stupid impression right off the bat.
Oh well.
PHONE SEX FANTASIES

Okay, Alan.

PUSSY IN MY PANTS

Out on an interview today...
will check in soon.

INTERVIEW WITH A GODDESS

Today is Buster's birthday! Look out for the Terrible Twos. He already has a bad nicotine habit. What's a mother to do?

Well, I've headed into month two of unemployment. The euphoria of finally being done with a job that was less than satisfying has diminished and the panic is setting in. I'm panicked because every fifth-grader knows Powerpoint, but I've only ever opened it once and don't have it at home. I'm panicked because Western Images opted for the mighty Great Plains accounting software and every company in the world uses Quickbooks. I'm panicked because even jobs where you know you'll never need these things require you to know ACT!, Photoshop, Raiser's Edge, TimeSlips, Access, Filemaker, Axapta (whatever the hell that is), Spanish, Cantonese, French and Russian.

I panic because my interview wardrobe is lacking polish. Thank God for ebay.

I may be stuck at Mickey D's, or worse, having this as my late-life career:
OLD CHICKS TURNING TRICKS (#2, yet)

I'm kinda fascinated by how there is a plot afoot to "throw" American Idol this time. This is the first time I've watched it all the way through and seeing things get vaguely out of control is pretty cool. Sanjaya just can't get voted out no matter what he does, and it definitely adds to the entertainment value. Simon Cowell is exasperated (well, more exasperated than usual) and nobody ever quite knows what to say. I'm not sure how much the kid has figured out but he's having a good time. Only 17 and on TV every week with lots of teenyboppers loving you up. The bubble has to burst but until then I'm all for it.
AMERICAN PORN IDOL

When you don't work, it's hard to remember what day it is. I've had to focus pretty hard on not getting parking tickets for street cleaning. Which reminds me, I need to move my car. My eating habits are also screwed up. The other day I got really hungry, like insatiably hungry. I figured out that because I kind of just snack, my poor body wanted some FOOD. Went and got Mexican, always the cure-all..
THE WHOLE ENCHILADA

It's over!

No more sewing center - all that is left is the carpet.

I'm in a coma this week after working full-tilt 31 0f 34 days but have already gotten in the swing of the job hunt.

I went to the movies with the idea of seeing something important but saw Wild Hogs instead. Pretty lame and pretty funny and William H Macy is great. If you want something brainless and amusing it's a good bargain matinee.

This is totally insulting:
HOG FARM

Ugh. Is it Thursday already? My store closes on Sunday, not a moment too soon. I will have worked 31 of 34 days. My autopilot is on full-time. I wake up every night at 2, 4, 6 and 8. I have to stay really aware when I am driving because I start going weird places. Buster is filing for a divorce and won't let me clip his nails, the better to maim me with. The house is filthy, I have no clean pants, the sheets need changing. Sunday is not a moment too soon away.

By announcement time I will be well into my 11th straight day at work. I am a bit bleary, since I am also not sleeping that well, but I can see my Sunday in bed with my book and my kitty coming over the horizon.

Joann Fabric and Crafts did not renew our lease, and gave us 6 weeks to close up shop. If any of you needs a sewing machine I've got some fabulous deals. People are coming out of the woodwork and saying how much they are going to miss me, and quite a few of them are people I don't remember ever seeing before. I guess they are the "you don't miss your water till your well runs dry" kind of folks. I just smile and say Thanks.

HARD@WORK


(in case you didn't notice, Nina Hartley has the best ass in the business. She's getting pretty old, but her buns are still knockout.)

I got a CD stuck in my computer last week and it's been at the doctor. No porn.

I did find out that Buster has figured out that if he pushes that little button the CD tray goes in and out. Hours of entertainment. Fun, fun fun.....

There's been stuff in the news lately about a company called Meth Coffee. I know a lot of you are high-powered coffee drinkers and this guy has blended the brain power of Yerba Mate with the jitter power of good strong coffee. Not a coffee drinker myself, but I am a mate drinker, and it is pretty great stuff. Although he goes by the name "The Roaster" and has refused to divulge his identity (probably to protect himself from those up in arms about his perceived insensitivity to actual meth addicts), I am telling you about it because I know who he is. I am not in the lifestyle group he is marketing to, and as an ex-meth-head I can see why people get wound up, but I think the product itself is an interesting idea. He's a smart kid, and I'm sure he knows that he can't buy the kind of publicity he is getting from all the p.c. folks bringing it to everyone's attention. I have heard there is quite an appalling video on the website - maybe that can be your porn for today.

I went to my title site to find something about how freezing it is but the site wouldn't load. I guess it was freezing. ha! Anyway, it's freezing again. In case you didn't notice. What is the deal about global warming causing a new Ice Age? The science perplexes me.

My car has a check engine light that won't go off no matter what. New oxy sensor, new tires, alignment, tune-up, oil change, cleaning of the mass airflow sensor (found that little tip online). Next is a transmission service. I am also spozed to put a gas additive in next time I gas up. I have a wonderful mechanic, but this is really annoying. I refuse to take Bonny to the rip-off dealer. So I guess we'll just have to keep trying.

So, no porn this week due to technical error. I tried.

Hey and Happy New Year!

I am still in the "I did too much driving" state from my vacation and can't remember what day it is. Keep forgetting to write my rent check. Keep forgetting to send my IRS payment.

I'll porn up again soon, once I get my head on straight.

Okay, so THIS is my idea of porn. Yowza.


Anyone who is a "Sean Connery is the only Bond" snob needs to see Casino Royale. Not that I don't love Mr. Connery and always have, but Mr. Craig can definitely put a big dent in that armor.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Down, girl!

Who needs porn when you can go online and get a shot of the nubile young Britney's snatch?

Ew.

SHAMELSS SELF-PROMO #13,298: (and porn)

Get a head start on your gift shopping and help support some starving artists. Mark your calendars for the first weekend in December and come to the 14th annual Fogbelt Studio Holiday Art and Craft Sale. 26 local artists will be selling their wares for reasonable prices - too much stuff to mention all at once. One guy last year came up to us and said he was really mad. We were, of course, alarmed, and asked him why. "Because I didn't know about this until now!!" he declared, arms loaded up with stuff. We were relieved. I will be selling fabric bookmarks, fun and very intoxicating cat toys (ask Buster), and whatever else I can sew up in time. This is one of the best sales I have not only participated in, but shopped at. Check it out!! (there's doorprizes and snax...)

Friday, 12/1 - 12 to 8
Saturday 12/2 10 to 6
Sunday 12/3 12 to 6

2528 25th Avenue between Ulloa and Vicente (it's a house)

JAPANESE ART PUSSY MASTER (good name for a cat toy!)

I think politicians should be fined huge amounts if they print more than one propaganda sheet per election. Same with folks who put all that crap on the ballot. I don't know about you, but I got a tree's worth of paper every day for weeks that I threw away without so much as a glance. Not to mention the phone books for state and local ballot stuff and the five double-sided pages of ballot. Can we have a little environmental responsibility here? Yeesh.

Thank heaven the election wasn't a bust like the last few. Go Nancy go!

MARY CAREY FOR GOVERNOR

So I have finally figured out a way for me to have Halloween candy leftovers. Both my housemates have really bad teeth! So I will make sure my contributions from now on are Abba Zabba, Laffy Taffy, Chewy Sweet Tarts, Look, Sugar Daddy, Big Hunk...... bwah ha ha

So I'm crushin' a little bit on Rob Zombie these days. I see him once in a while on horror movie scare fest countdowns or Criss Angel's show and he seems like a pretty okay guy. I've only seen one of his movies so far and it didn't make a lick of sense but I have Devil's Rejects on my Netflix list just for fun. I got a cd with a bunch of stuff on it and practically drove off the road banging my head to More Human Than Human. I told my kid sister that even her ole' sis needs to bang her head and drive too fast once in a while.

Zombie porn:
PORN OF THE DEAD

Missed my post cause it was my b'day yesterday. I went to my Mom's house on the condition that she let me watch the Project Runway Finale, which she did so I was a happy girl. I am not as squeaked by Jeffrey's neck (my sister and I just call him "boyfriend" because I had a dream about him early on wherein he was not my boyfriend but you know how these rumors get started) as Bee is, partly because I have seen worse, and it's not like boyfriend is so handsome that he has ruined himself, plus it's a tribute to his beloved baby boy. It does make his neck look huge, though. Maybe he did it there cause it was a good-sized canvas. Although I will never be thin enough to wear any of the Runway items, I would happily wear just about anything of Uli's and quite a bit of boyfriends (although at that point I would be accused of being age inappropriate). Excellent b'day all around and I still have events/gifts/cake coming up. Love the b'day week/month/as long as I can stretch it out.

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMO #2,976

My Hawaiian choral group, Na Leo Nahenahe, is performing this Sunday, October 15th:

Where: Lake Merritt United Methodist Church

1330 Lakeshore Avenue

Oakland, CA

When: 4:00 P.M.

Admission: $15 at the door

We are having some great special guests, including little kids doing hula, which is the best thing ever. Also slack key guitar, more hula, and singers besides us. Come get some aloha! You won't be sorry!

TROPICAL COCK-TALE

Alas, everything in my life seems to be pending....
more news and hopefully porn next time!

Sorry, no porn today. I've got some new guy who likes to talk dirty with me via IM and he took all my blog/porn time away. Plus the finale of Rockstar (I guess I need to assume next time that the guy I dislike from the get-go is going to win) and a great episode of Project Runway and my night is done. So, sorry.

Anybody out there got a new job for me that pays more than diddly-squat?

I have been a little bit immersed in magic stuff lately. I read a book called Not in Kansas Anymore, about how magic is changing America - pretty good and I got a lead on a great witch store near Santa Rosa. Magic in that context was not the illisionary kind but the spiritual kind. Next I read The Prestige, which is coming out as a movie soon with the dually yummalicious cast of Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, plus David Bowie will be playing Nikola Tesla. My sister got me the book a long time ago and I guess I had read it but didn't remember enough to put it down as an "I read this one" so enjoyed it a second time. In the middle of that, I went to see The Illusionist, which was wonderful. Edward Norton is so subtle. Now I'm reading a book called Brimstone.
Sensing a trend?


SEX MAGICIAN


p.s. I have to rant that I am horrified that John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson. Somehow thought he would go for more substance.

Well, I sent this to Linky-Loo but perhaps he thought it too porn-ish for his column. No worries. So here is a magic trick you'll never forget. Speakers on. Your nekkid girl fix o' the week. (for the squeamish, this is not really porn)

Better life, wax-end.
Better success, whitish-cream.

Better future, wreck-raising.

Better health, nimble-stepping.

(with a nod to LLMB for alerting me to the poetic possibilities of spam)

Buster sleeps head-to-head with me, pretty much, either curled up on my shoulder with his head on my cheek, or in my armpit/nook area. This morning he was in the nook, and I opened my eyes to find him just lying there gazing at me. Is a kitty's thoughts really like the old cartoon of a cat looking in a corner and the thought bubble is the corner? or is there a thought process? Is he thinking of how he'd really love to bite my chin, or when will I get up to get his breakfast, or just studying me like I study people I love when they are sleeping? Until he learns to speak as well as understand English, I guess I'll never know.

KUNG POW KITTY

Between Rockstar:Supernova eliminations and Project Runway on Wednesday nights I can't seem to remember my blog duties. Sorry!

I had something to say and forgot. As the saying goes "must have been a lie".

I'll try to do better next week....

Shameless self promo #137:

Come see me and my singing group, Na Leo Nahenahe, at the Aloha Festival this Saturday at 11:30 a.m. The festival goes on for 2 days, so even if you miss Na Leo, come check it out - booths, music, dancing, food, free admission. It is at the Presidio Parade Grounds, out there in front of the Officer's Club.

Check out this nice article in SF Gate, with a podcast.

It's summer!!!! 'Nuff said...

I'm kinda busy this week, lots of getting home lates. Didn't think about my rant. My only rant is against the people who walk into Joanns with the blackest of dark glasses on then can't see what you're pointing them toward. Where is it? Here? Here? Did you say this way? I was looking for green, is there any green? (Six shades of it in front of their face) Do these colors go together?

Take off your goddam sunglasses, ya geek!!!

Last week I decided to return to hula after a three-and-a-half year absence. I had seen a picture of my kumu and just missed him too much. It was great! Everyone remembered me and welcomed me back. I'm starting over, but that's okay - my hips are creaky.

The Aloha Festival is the first weekend of August, the 5th and 6th. It is in the Presidio at the parade grounds, and is free. It is two days of Polynesian music, dance, food, booths. My singing group, Na Leo Nahenahe, performs Saturday at 11:30 - come check it out!

MIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN

Hey all - hope you had a fun and fiery 4th!

In lieu of porn, I give you this dirty little ditty courtesy of ex-Westerner Wendy Miller:

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

Since I am at work and on dial-up, no porn pictures today.

I do have a non-porn movie review, though, unless scary movies are your porn. I watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" the other day. Bad title for a pretty rockin' movie. Good acting, no supernatural effects such as head-spinning and whatnot - nothing a human couldn't do under the right circumstances. You never REALLY know if it's really demons or if she is just seriously cukoo for cocoa puffs. But I have to say, I don't scare easy and I was pretty wound up. 3 a.m. will never be the same. Check it out.

Somehow I wound up with a magazine subscription to FHM (For Him Magazine). According to the label I am good until May of 07. Can't figure that one out, since the only thing I have subscribed to lately is Bon Appetit, and also because I am not a Him. Anyway, it has semi-naked girls romping around. Very tame, actually, which is kind of sexier, like Playboy used to be but not as innocent. Lots of porn stars. I do like one feature they have where people send in pictures where some unknown interloper has horned in to the shot. Sometimes the interlopers will be later identified by a reader, which is kind of awesome. They also have pics of wierd stuff people have captured with the cell phone cameras. Maybe someday the mystery will be solved, but until then these mags will pile up until I can pass them on to Manny.

My ultra-short vacation was a lot of fun. My sister's ex turned up at Dad's party wearing a shirt with his face and signature on it so it was kind of like Dad was there. My sister pretty much despises her ex, even though he is pretty great, so it was nice to re-connect with him. A lot of folks were there I had never met, my Dad's students, co-workers and customers. Many of them had heard of me through the years and it was nice to know Dad talked about me. My sister got delicately ever-so-tanked, and some of my stepmom's cronies got not-so-delicately tanked (taking incriminating photos of a passed-out buddy and such). One of my dad's buds brought a gallon pitcher of martinis with a giant martini glass full of olives (sorry ya missed it. Alan!). Excellent food, with piles of leftovers so vast even I brought some home in my little cooler.

Anyway, Harris Ranch Inn was pretty bitchin' - I hit the pool about 9 pm when I got in and it was perfect.



Okay, now my rant. I've been bottling this up for a long-ass time. The other night I was innocently watching America's Funniest Home Videos and they were showing a kid's birthday party. Suddenly, one kid gives a little belch and becomes a firehose of puke. He puked so much that he put his hand up and it was just deflected into a fountain. I was about to eat a nacho. This scene gave me pause, then pissed me off. When did it become okay to have puke scenes, either real or fictional, on every damn tv show and in every damn movie??? Was the puke scene in "Parenthood" such a hit that the studios said, "Hey! People love puke! Let's put it in everything!"? I freakin' HATE it. I guess when you've had kids or whatever, seeing someone barf is old hat, but I know there have to be other people out there that aren't diggin' it. Every cop show (mutilated body? puking cop), every medical show (a no-brainer), even the reality shows are getting on the bandwagon. I personally don't like to puke. The whole time I was a drunk I managed to avoid it. What's next? Peeing? Pooping? Ugh.

When I worked at the porn joint, my title o' the weekwas a movie they offered. They don't have it any more so I can't get the cover picture. There are several factions of fetishists who are into barf, but the most common is the "blow-job-induced-gag-and-puke" crowd. Just to be pronographically well-rounded, I downloaded some clips with Limewire, watched 'em, deleted 'em. Whatever...

VOMITORIUM

Getting ready to go to my Dad's wake. I am spending the night at Harris Ranch - full report next week.

TRAVELING FANTASIES



Love the description:
I'm Maki, I seem Like an ordinary girl, but out of the blue an experience that made me different!

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today....

I was in the hospital with acute pancreatitis, detoxing off of alcohol with vast quantities of Valium. Happy as a clam to be ridding myself of something that had turned out not to be such a good friend, after all.

Interesting to think that there is not one TNSC member who ever saw me with a real drink in my hand, although many of you have seen me with a beverage. People in my last 6 or so jobs have never seen me with a drink, but I have partied down with all of them.

Tonight I am going out with a fellow "friend of Bill W", who is celebrating 2 years. We and several of her friends are chowing down and then getting "chips", little plastic or metal pieces with numbers imprinted on them to represent years (or months, at first). I haven't been to a meeting in 7 years, since a different fellow friend took me to a lunchtime chip meeting to get my 13-year chip. But I remember the amazement I felt, and the hope, of seeing someone getting up to get their 20 year (or more) chips when I was still new and fragile. I want to repay that favor and maybe give another fledgling that same hope.

Please, have a really good drink tonight for me (I never got to have a Cosmo or a Mojito) - I still like to drink vicariously through my friends!

So I guess it is the end of an era.
Thanks for putting up with my rantings all these years - maybe we'll get to do it some more.
So, Cushie, good luck!
Keep in touch.
and...

LEAVE 'EM GAPING


P.S Buster is a year old today!!

My new passion is cooking. I am addicted to the website ecookbooks.com (Jessica's Biscuit) and the Food Network. My mission this weekend is to get some new pans. I have bookmarks on my computer for smoked salts and exotic sauces. I was a devotee of The Next Food network Star (my favorite won) and am currently avidly following Top Chef (my fave is in the top 3). I love watching knife skills, and turning food just by doing that little wrist-flip to the pan. I have always liked to cook, but got re-invigorated for some reason I'm not real sure how to pinpoint. Was it eating something really great and thinking, I need to know how to make this? Was it the Anthony Bourdain Les Halles cookbook that I got just because I like him but made me want to find veal bones for a demi-glace? I don't know. But I am rediscovering the joy of cooking (and I don't mean the book, even though I am glad it is in my library in case the world as we know it comes to an end and I need to learn how to skin and cook a squirrel). One really great thing is that my mom loves to cook, too, and we are planning some culinary adventures together. I still need to work on my organization, though. The other day I semi-burned a bunch of ingredients because I lost my can opener and had to run upstairs to figure out their electric one. I still haven't found my can opener.

SHE-MALE CHEFS

I'm kinda drawing a blank on the porn. Life is a bit dullish these days and there have been no events of interest to accompany a title. Buster is a big boy now, and will be a year old on May 10. He has kinda been the highlight lately, along with the re-emergence of the sun. I joined a Hawai'ian choral group (watch for us at the Aloha Festival the first weekend in August - we are called Na Leo Nahenahe). I got sent a box of Dad's stuff - some berets, a pocketknife, my report cards and some letters, a couple shirts. Reading a fun Dracula book called "The Historian". Getting back into cooking and am addicted to cookbooks and The Food Network. Trying to heal my leg with really painful excercises. Still haven't seen Manny's Red Bluff house. Making some baby quilts on commission. That's it. Have some fun outside!

I am depressed today because I caught a brief news bit about that the Canadian hunters are on their merry way to club and shoot approx. 325,000 baby harp seals. I thought we got rid of that damn senseless slaughter years ago. Crap.

Nothing else to say today, I guess.

Last night when I was about to do my rant, I got a call from my man. Hadn't seen him in a while, so I traded porn for a little fun time. However, it is quiet here today so I sneaked a peek at the porn title encyclopedia with no repercussions from some stuffy old biddy walking by at the wrong time.

I have to rant about the whole Barry Bonds steroid crap. I have never liked that mewling crybaby, who does he think he's kidding?, he should quit now, spend his bazillions of juicy dollars, and leave the true greats' records the hell alone. Hmph.

BAD NEWS BITCHES

Oops, late again.

Last night I forgot to blog cause I went to see V for Vendetta, which has a rant by V that is almost all words beginning with V and it actually makes sense. I was agog. Except for a couple of plot holes - how did she get clothes and who cut her hair - it was a fun movie, not ultra-effectsy but still over-the-top, kind of a romantic police procedural with future (or is it NOW??) politics. Some of you will like it and some of you will hate it. Can't be helped.

As you may have noticed in Tonight, not a lot of summitting was done at the summit, but I sure saw a lot of folks I haven't seen in a long time and managed to remember a lot of names. Fortunately, the majority is named Matt.

Josh suggested a Porn Quilt. I'm mulling.....

Sorry I've been a slacker. Been preoccupied with the Dad thing.

Last Friday we went out on a boat and mixed his ashes in with the ocean. Well, we were in the L.A. harbor due to high swells past the lighthouse, but close enough. We gave him See's Scotchmallows, See's Bridge Mix, peanuts, and, of course, a martini. We were thinking about sharing a cigar and tossing it over but we thought Dad would be horrified by the waste of a good smoke, so his humidor contents will be passed around to his buddies. The seagulls were happy to see more than flowers being tossed and were having a grand old time. We saw a lazy sea lion on a buoy, the sky had stopped raining just in time and we had a beautiful stormy sky. We went to a fun restaurant he liked called North Woods (wish we had one here) and snarfed like we had never eaten. My Dad's brother was here from Ohio and when we dropped him at the airport I think we were all feeling like we would never see each other again, but we had such a grand time it's kind of okay.

I got to spend some real quality time with my stepmom and sister, so all was not lost. We played games and talked and knitted (just me and sis) and had some retail therapy and an Oscar party.

Later this spring there will be a real wake, with everybody. Can't wait.

No porn this week.

Thank Heaven for the Olympics. They are my current drug of choice. Loving every minute of it no matter who wins (with the possible exception of that imperious ass Bob Costas). I even like bitchy old Dick Button, trying to keep skating from turning into a sloppy inelegant mess. Johhny Weir is my new skating idol, a smart, attitude-ridden, faggy punk who brings beauty back to the boys. Fast Track Skating is my new favorite sport, with or without Apolo; I love the build-up of speed, the stolen leads, the treacherous turns, pivoting off their fingertips (I also find skeleton mighty thrilling but I haven't seen any yet). I know some people pooh-pooh the whole Olympics thing, but I have been an addict since Jean-Claude Killy stole my heart when I was twelve.

Okay, the surgeons who worked on these women need to have their licenses yanked, if they ever even had one.
MEGA-BOOB OLYMPICS

The time has come for me to tell you about my Dad, John. He died unexpectedly on Monday, but because he was facing a long haul of nursing homes and hospitals, it was a good time to go. Bad for us, but great for him. He died the way we would all like to, having a nap in front of a movie on the TV, his wife puttering in the kitchen.

For about the last 40 or so years of his life, my Dad was an accomplished potter and teacher. He was kind of a Rock Star teacher - people would line up at the doors of the admissions office before it opened so they could get in his classes. Beautiful and at the same time functional, his pots sold like hotcakes to devoted folks who also lined up early to gain entrance to his annual Christmas sales.

When my Mom and Dad were young and newly together, she measured his calves, and compared them to her waist. They were the same. He had amazing strong legs, and was a handsome college football player. His jobs varied from a menswear salesman, to a cooking fat salesman, to a night watchman at Schlitz, until his true calling of teaching took hold. He was in a jewelry class at San Fernando Valley State College when a guy asked if he'd like to be a teacher's assistant in ceramics at USC. A star was born. He became a teacher at USC, where he met my future Mean Old Step-Mother. After they got married, he obtained a much more lucrative position at Mount San Antonio Junior College, where he remained for 35 years, working 10 years past retirement.

How do you sum up a life? He had two wives, a daughter by each, a lovely home, a great career. Loved by innumerable people. He kept expressing his creativity even after his illness rendered him unable to work the clay, making abstract, colorful drawings. He liked to watch TV, and loved football. When all his girls were playing games in the dining room at Christmas, he would occasionally wander out to check on us during commercials or halftime, but rarely wanted to play with us. Most of the football I have watched has been with my Dad, eating peanuts in the shell on the coffee table. He also liked to sing and was in a barbershop quartet in his youth - a lovely tenor. I have memories of singing in the car with him as a kid - "I've Been Working on the Railroad" - he would take the harmony.

I was fortunate to have had a conversation with him several months ago during which he told me how much he loved me and was proud of me, and I did the same. We had a wonderful, perfect Christmas in December. He left no animosity, enemies, or unfinished business.

A martini drinker till the end, I think an obit on the TNSC page is more than fitting.

Here's to my Dad.

I really despise those new-fangled headlights that are appearing on all the cars now. The ones that make it easier to see where you are going, but singe the eyeballs of anyone approaching from the opposite direction with their icy icy brightness. The other day I had some schmo behind me who had those, so it was already bad enough that he was behind me, but he was a real idiot. I drive through the Presidio and around by the Palace of the Legion of Honor, which have momentary areas of darkness. I am not much for using my brights, especially when I drive a road every day and know it. This monster behind me decides that we need our brights, regardless of the fact that I was leading the way just fine, so he turned HIS on. That I am living to tell the tale is testament to my driving-while-blind-on-a-curvy-road skills. He did it TWICE. What a moron. Oh, and before you jump to the conclusion that I was being a sissy driver, I was driving at an acceptable and non-ticketable speed a bit over the limit (those Presidio cops are ruthless) on roads that are not designed for Speed Racer. Hmph.

Speaking of headlights,
TITTY-TITTY BANG-BANG

Not much going on this week - really busy, but boring stuff.

Had a mammogram a few weeks ago and had to go back. This is never relaxing news, and it was a slightly nerve-wracked week waiting for my appointment. I had to be at Kaiser before I am usually even awake, which added to my feeling of unease. Now, a normal mammogram is kind of like having your breast squished between two books - it is so generalized that although it is uncomfortable, it is not really painful. This time, they had to squish a very particular area, and it was more like being between a book and an average-sized fist. Ish ish ish. Then again, harder, with a really big fist. Oosh oosh oosh. Then wait, with a hospital gown on that is not really suited to being tied in the front (or, I imagine, the back). And wait. Finally, everything is okay, I can go home. Whew. The x-ray lady showed me the film of my original squish - there was a rather interesting dense area that was swirly, rather like a question mark. Pretty, in an odd way, but she had to make sure it wasn't really there.

In homage to my poor bazooms:
A BUSTFUL OF DOLLARS


except that the picture is of her BUTT. Hm.

I have to step on the toes of the Linky-Loo coordinator and give you this story of a lady and a dolphin. Not exactly porn but does leave one open to some interesting speculation.

My phone line is down until tomorrow so no porn again. It has been interesting to be so silent at home (went out on Saturday). Although I don't talk on the phone much, I like to know I CAN, and I am so used to going and looking things up online at the drop of a hat I realize how spoiled I've become.

Farewell, Bishop! and good luck with your new life. Everyone loved your calendars.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Oh, wow, is it Thursday already? I'm at work, no porn for you.

Buster got as many presents this year as I did, including a container of catnip that looks so much like buds of weed I got nervous when I had to have my bag unpacked thanks to an iron incense burner flaming up on the x-ray. The handcuffs come out - "no, really, it's catnip, I promise!". Dogs sniffing around - thank God they are looking for bombs and not dope.

Christmas Eve is the day to fly - I allowed 3 hours to get through it all and had 2 hours to kill. The plane was full but by and large the airport was deserted. Found a good book for the plane. I am all into the series of "Best (blah blah blah) of 2005" - I got Magazine Writing for the plane, and just picked up Science Writing. They have Spiritual Writing and Travel and Food and all kinds of good stuff. Nice short bursts of well-written and informative tidbits.

There is a seriously Buster moment in The Chronicles of Narnia. When you see it, and the scene comes when Aslan does his thing to the evil queen, imagine me lying in bed and opening my eyes to the same view on a slightly smaller but no less frightening scale. Loved the movie, by the way, more than I thought I would, and at the risk of even more firmly establishing myself in the group as a pervert, the Centaurs are HOT!!

The new phrase of the season is as follows:

"Happy Christmahannukwanzaakah!

We figure it covers all the bases and won't insult anyone for being politically incorrect.

SANTA'S CUMMIN!

Sci Fi Channel sucks me in to the weirdest stuff.I just got through 3 nights of watching a preposterous miniseries about the Bermuda Triangle. It was kinda cool, cause we haven't heard much about the goings-on in the Triangle lately; I imagine this will start a new trend and it will once again be chic.

Have you noticed that otherworldly things have their times in the sun, like bell-bottoms and ponchos? For a while alien abduction was all the rage (best movies are "Communion" and "Fire in the Sky", with a kudos to the Barney and Betty Hill movie way back when with James Earl Jones and Estelle Parsons, a pioneer of the genre). The Triangle was hip so long ago I don't remember any movies. I know there were some bad made-for-tv things rather like what I just watched. Voodoo and Santaria had a moment ("The Believers" and "Serpent and the Rainbow"). Sometimes a movie starts a trend ("Altered States" and the sudden opening of isolation tank spas, all gone now). Crop circles have died down a bit; "Signs" was a little late. Some things, like ghosts, will always be popular, but I kind of put them outside of the natural-supernatural new-age hippie-dippie stuff I am thinking about. Remember Pyramid Power? I'd be hard-pressed to find a pyramid outside the Whole Living Expo, and they are throwbacks even there. Okay, so we need to make a movie about the famous "vortexes" in Sedona. Haven't seen one of those yet and it seems like vortexes would be ripe for the picking. They are so vague you could do anything. Louis L'Amour wrote a book about the Anasazi that was pretty cool - getting some Native American lore into the spotlight would be interesting.

Anyway, my Christmas sale was good; Buster got a couple leftover cat toys. Ramping up for the Christmas blitz (Happy Christmahannukwanzaakah!). Oh, and I did like the Johnny Cash movie. Also, if you are going to see Harry Potter make sure you do it at the movies - it is so dark it might be hard to see on the teevee.

BERMUDA TRIANGLES

SHAMELSS SELF-PROMO
Hey - I am participating in a wonderful Christmas craft sale with 25 other very talented folks who make enticing things. I always buy a few things for myself, as well as a giftie or two...
FOGBELT STUDIO HOLIDAY ARTS AND CRAFTS SALE
2528 25th Avenue (between Ulloa and Vicente
Friday 12/2 noon - 8 pm
Saturday 12/3 10 am to 6 pm
Sunday 12/4 noon - 6 pm
I'll be there on Sunday around 1. My wares are microwave mitts (very handy), bookmarks, and cat toys.

Oh, and because I seem to be spending a fair amount of time seeing doctors for various routine testing, here is this week's really wierd title:
LEAD A DISSOLUTE IN HOPITAL - Nures and Woman Doctor (sic on all the bad spelling)

Okay, finally got last week's blog to publish.
Just got 3 Johnny Cash records from Amazon. I realized that with Walk the Line coming out and all that there was a severe shortage of Man in Black albums in my collection. There was a special on the two prison records, and I added his last one that has the strange covers of Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode. But I am treading on Bee's Musical Feet here so I will wait till next time and talk about the movie instead.

I did see Good Night, and Good Luck. What a nice change of pace to see a movie that is just smart, well-shot, well-acted, no gluts of either estrogen or testosterone. I have always liked David Strathairn although I don't know how to actually pronounce his name. It could be an interesting race for the Best Actor Oscar this year.

Anyway, I wonder what kind of hit record would have come out of a Johnny Cash show here:

BIG TIT PRISON

Oops, missed my deadline again. I'm having a little case of anti-computer-itis cause I have a "new" (to me) computer at work that has viruses that I can't get out because it shuts down whenever I am almost done dowloading the tools. Actually the thing that it does is a symptom of a virus that it doesn't seem to have upon a Symantec scan for that particular one. I have dial-up at work, which compounds the problem, and I get a warning window about my registry about every two minutes, which is a lie since I cleaned my registry about 6 times. I can't get through a Spybot or Adaware download, either. I finally got through a virus definition download which is how I now know I have viruses. Sigh.

Been to the movies more in the last month than in the last 2 years. Saw In Her Shoes, Capote, Domino, and Jarhead. Going to see History of Violence tomorrow probably and Walk the Line immediately upon release.
This was not the Jarhead I saw, although there may be equal numbers of hot guys in both.
JARHEAD

Here are the Buster reports I got while I was on vacation:
1. "Hey girl,

alls well with the critters. Buster and I played in
the sun( the tunnel) he's a good kitty. the only
thing is that every time i go to your place he's made
a bigger mess other than that he's a good kitty. have
fun

love abel"

2. "I stopped by to see Buster yesterday running amok. He was in the garage, so when I left I made sure he was in the apt. He had found one of your knitting projects (red yarn) and wound it around the chair. It was quite a task untangling it and putting it out of reach. I played with him for a while but he was also pretty entertained by himself. Perhaps he was showing off. I made the mistake of wearing a skirt with bare legs and an ankle bracelet. Next time I'm wearing long pants and bringing work gloves." (Melanie)

3. "Well today the adventure got a little crazy..
was playing with buster and you know how hard it is to
shut the door before you can get out ..it started in
the back room up stairs then every room 'till we
reached your door. door won't shut. then put him back
started racing to the door buster flies out of
no-where smash crash...We broke your nice friut bowl
by the door..bad boy hidd, i cleaned up felt bad,but
figured you'd uderstand and perhaps maybe you could
steel one from your sis's house like it. no injuries,
but then I rememdered as i cleaned the litter
box(guilt is motivating),and putting it out i locked
myself out. Great< huh? had to go to mike's work and blah blahyouknow. anyways, Sorry !!! buster has forgotten it already..to be a cat...would have been a great trade for today" (Abel)

Buster is happy I'm home but not as happy as Abel...

BAD KITTY

Ahhhhhhhh..... vacation at last! I am in Laguna Beach, living with my sister for a week. The first few days were marked by some amazing storm activity. One night my sister and I went out on to the balcony to watch the lightning streaking around - big flashes, big, long booms. It was fun and reminded me of summers in Ohio when we would watch the storms for entertainment.

I have been getting very amusing Buster reports from his beleaguered caretakers - he has been quite the scoundrel and I fear I will be coming home to a post-hurricane home scenario. Apparently my house is messier every day, and he has found a ball of yarn or two. Good kitty.

THUNDERLAND IN WONDERLAND

Ack - I am such a slacker. Last night I was so preoccupied trying to learn Photoshop in an hour that I forgot about my blog. Sorry! I'm at work, so no porn available.

I got roped into designing a logo for my artist group, Tangerine Arts. They forgot to give me a deadline until it was about a week away. Hate that. Anyway, I pumped out 2 versions, got them semi-cleaned up in Photoshop, and sent them out for approval. I know Photoshop is nothing for most of y'all but I find it baffling. Of course, I have no book, except for version 7, and I have version 6. And that book is very very thick. I guess when I come back from vacation next week I'll see about half.comming a version 6 bible of some sort.

The logo is for our impending website, which I will link for you when it is live. I have had many technical difficulties around getting materials ready for this. Fortunately, I am not actually webmistressing (thank GAWD).

One of my main beefs in life is the necessity of the artist resume. I was forced to make one for this. I am an art idealist - I want the art to be judged/appreciated/hated/loved on its own merits, and the idea of someone's opinion of my art being skewed by how much education I have, or how many shows I have been in, is repellent. I have a similar beef with the artist statement, but I have kind of learned to deal, especially since Jeff Koontz made the artist statement an art form unto itself.

Okay, rant complete.

Congratulations to Josh and Christie!

Not much to report. The situation reported previously is a bit inhibiting as far as having a lovely social life.

My kitten Buster is quite the little music critic. I was singing to him the other day and he very solemnly slapped me on the nose as hard as he could. Guess "We Are the Champions" isn't his fave.

The other day I came home to a message on my machine, which was one of those clattery things that happens when someone calls you from their purse. Then I heard a series of mews and realized he had stepped on the memo button on my machine and left me a message.

My biggest news is that I bought my first-ever tv-show DVD. I knew I would buy this one when I was watching the first episode. I figure watching 24 hours of LOST will get me through my Rockstar INXS withdrawals after next week (my fave made the top 3! I'm sure you all care).

DARK SHELL LUST IN THE CAGE EPISODE #1 - When The Paradise Is Lost

Arnold has got to go. What an ass he is. You know, when this whole gay marriage thing got going he said he didn't care one way or the other. Now he is breaking a million hearts. Can we make sure to NOT vote for him just because he is an action hero movie star next time? Yeesh.

Maybe he wouldn't veto a bill for a
BI WEDDING


is she wearing glasses???

Have you ever had a physical condition that makes you really feel like a disgusting example of a human? I've got one of those right now. A gift from my poor baby kitty.

Ringworm is a mis-named condition, having nothing to do with worms. It is more closely related to athlete's foot or jock itch, you know, a fungus. I don't know if having a fungus is really any better than having worms - they both sound nasty.

Buster is barely even affected by this - his neck and feet itch him for about 5 seconds a day, and his fur is patchy in places. He gets to take chicken-flavored medicine, and eat wet cat food (which I was hoping to avoid ever feeding him). I, on the other hand, get to walk around with big red itchy spots and be coated non-stop with jock itch cream. Lovely.

WORMS

I have spent most of my day here at work reading the Rockstar:INXS message boards (no mean feat when you have dial-up), which means it's freakin' slow here. The venomous wrath and hatred expressed on those boards is hilarious - almost rivals the boards I've read about politics. We're talking about several relatively talented people auditioning to be the lead singer of a band that has been off the radar for quite some time and you'd think it was a life-and-death decision:
JD SUCKS!!!
NO HE DOESN"T - MARTY SUX!!!
YOU ALL SUCK!!! MIG IS THE ONE!!!!
Third grade stuff.
Then someone starts an intelligent thread and it's great for a while, but ultimately descends to juvenile vitriol, but in lower case letters with a better vocaulary:
Stop bashing me! I have a right to express the opinion that JD is a revolting jerk and lacks talent.
Do you know JD personally? I have a friend who knows both JD and Marty, and the fact is that Marty ultimately has the least talent and most horrible personality.
I'm sorry to disagree, and we all have a right to our opinion, but you are both insane. Only MiG has the talent and agreeable personality to front INXS.
I think it would be an excellent thesis topic for anthro or psych majors to study the behavior of anonymous communication.
Porn to follow...

Oy - I am suffering from kitten-induced sleep deprivation and too long of hours so forgot my post. Sorry!

Anyway, my art group is looking for a webdesign person to do a fairly simple website for us. We would need a home page and several individual artist pages that would link from home. No animation or fancy-schmancy stuff. We would also need to be able to have it maintained, either by the web person or by us using templates (none of us know a lick of HTML). Cost is somewhat an issue, of course, and we need a secure, non-fly-by-night server location. More details will be worked out later but I wanted to give an overview.

If you or anyone you know might be interested in this please email me at matadecoco2001@hotmail.com.

Keep your fingers crossed for me - I may be heading back to porn world. Not as hard-core as before but probably more fun.

So, the best part of the Sonoma Fair was this. He was in the Humane Society display truck, and was still there the second week so I had to get him.

There were gorgeous gorgeous cows, bulls, sheep and goats. The food was amazing, very well done for that kind of venue, and the children's art exhibit was phenomenal. I wanted to buy a bunch of stuff but of course kid's art is rarely for sale.

KITTENS

Sorry for the late post and no title (I'm at work). I was fiddling around till the wee hours working on a geocities web site for myself and forgot my blog.

The fair has been fun - two more days and so next week I'll give you a full report. The food! I've never eaten so much meat in one day..... And the cows! such lovely creatures.

This week my boss has coralled me into working a booth at the Sonoma County Fair. I don't know, when I go to the fair, buying a sewing machine isn't at the top of my list of activities, but I guess my company does well. WhenI go to the fair, my thoughts are on various disgusting and decadent food items, like corn dogs and fudge; on rides that promise to end your life; on funky exhibits of foodstuffs and barn animals; on finding boys to flirt with. Except for maybe the food part, I won't get to do any of these things. Whaa...
Even if I run into this boy, I tink I'll pass. How did he get into porn? Yokel.

COUNTY FAIR GAME