Out on an interview today...
will check in soon.

INTERVIEW WITH A GODDESS

Today is Buster's birthday! Look out for the Terrible Twos. He already has a bad nicotine habit. What's a mother to do?

Well, I've headed into month two of unemployment. The euphoria of finally being done with a job that was less than satisfying has diminished and the panic is setting in. I'm panicked because every fifth-grader knows Powerpoint, but I've only ever opened it once and don't have it at home. I'm panicked because Western Images opted for the mighty Great Plains accounting software and every company in the world uses Quickbooks. I'm panicked because even jobs where you know you'll never need these things require you to know ACT!, Photoshop, Raiser's Edge, TimeSlips, Access, Filemaker, Axapta (whatever the hell that is), Spanish, Cantonese, French and Russian.

I panic because my interview wardrobe is lacking polish. Thank God for ebay.

I may be stuck at Mickey D's, or worse, having this as my late-life career:
OLD CHICKS TURNING TRICKS (#2, yet)

I'm kinda fascinated by how there is a plot afoot to "throw" American Idol this time. This is the first time I've watched it all the way through and seeing things get vaguely out of control is pretty cool. Sanjaya just can't get voted out no matter what he does, and it definitely adds to the entertainment value. Simon Cowell is exasperated (well, more exasperated than usual) and nobody ever quite knows what to say. I'm not sure how much the kid has figured out but he's having a good time. Only 17 and on TV every week with lots of teenyboppers loving you up. The bubble has to burst but until then I'm all for it.
AMERICAN PORN IDOL

When you don't work, it's hard to remember what day it is. I've had to focus pretty hard on not getting parking tickets for street cleaning. Which reminds me, I need to move my car. My eating habits are also screwed up. The other day I got really hungry, like insatiably hungry. I figured out that because I kind of just snack, my poor body wanted some FOOD. Went and got Mexican, always the cure-all..
THE WHOLE ENCHILADA

It's over!

No more sewing center - all that is left is the carpet.

I'm in a coma this week after working full-tilt 31 0f 34 days but have already gotten in the swing of the job hunt.

I went to the movies with the idea of seeing something important but saw Wild Hogs instead. Pretty lame and pretty funny and William H Macy is great. If you want something brainless and amusing it's a good bargain matinee.

This is totally insulting:
HOG FARM

Ugh. Is it Thursday already? My store closes on Sunday, not a moment too soon. I will have worked 31 of 34 days. My autopilot is on full-time. I wake up every night at 2, 4, 6 and 8. I have to stay really aware when I am driving because I start going weird places. Buster is filing for a divorce and won't let me clip his nails, the better to maim me with. The house is filthy, I have no clean pants, the sheets need changing. Sunday is not a moment too soon away.

By announcement time I will be well into my 11th straight day at work. I am a bit bleary, since I am also not sleeping that well, but I can see my Sunday in bed with my book and my kitty coming over the horizon.

Joann Fabric and Crafts did not renew our lease, and gave us 6 weeks to close up shop. If any of you needs a sewing machine I've got some fabulous deals. People are coming out of the woodwork and saying how much they are going to miss me, and quite a few of them are people I don't remember ever seeing before. I guess they are the "you don't miss your water till your well runs dry" kind of folks. I just smile and say Thanks.

HARD@WORK


(in case you didn't notice, Nina Hartley has the best ass in the business. She's getting pretty old, but her buns are still knockout.)

I got a CD stuck in my computer last week and it's been at the doctor. No porn.

I did find out that Buster has figured out that if he pushes that little button the CD tray goes in and out. Hours of entertainment. Fun, fun fun.....

There's been stuff in the news lately about a company called Meth Coffee. I know a lot of you are high-powered coffee drinkers and this guy has blended the brain power of Yerba Mate with the jitter power of good strong coffee. Not a coffee drinker myself, but I am a mate drinker, and it is pretty great stuff. Although he goes by the name "The Roaster" and has refused to divulge his identity (probably to protect himself from those up in arms about his perceived insensitivity to actual meth addicts), I am telling you about it because I know who he is. I am not in the lifestyle group he is marketing to, and as an ex-meth-head I can see why people get wound up, but I think the product itself is an interesting idea. He's a smart kid, and I'm sure he knows that he can't buy the kind of publicity he is getting from all the p.c. folks bringing it to everyone's attention. I have heard there is quite an appalling video on the website - maybe that can be your porn for today.

I went to my title site to find something about how freezing it is but the site wouldn't load. I guess it was freezing. ha! Anyway, it's freezing again. In case you didn't notice. What is the deal about global warming causing a new Ice Age? The science perplexes me.

My car has a check engine light that won't go off no matter what. New oxy sensor, new tires, alignment, tune-up, oil change, cleaning of the mass airflow sensor (found that little tip online). Next is a transmission service. I am also spozed to put a gas additive in next time I gas up. I have a wonderful mechanic, but this is really annoying. I refuse to take Bonny to the rip-off dealer. So I guess we'll just have to keep trying.

So, no porn this week due to technical error. I tried.

Hey and Happy New Year!

I am still in the "I did too much driving" state from my vacation and can't remember what day it is. Keep forgetting to write my rent check. Keep forgetting to send my IRS payment.

I'll porn up again soon, once I get my head on straight.

Okay, so THIS is my idea of porn. Yowza.


Anyone who is a "Sean Connery is the only Bond" snob needs to see Casino Royale. Not that I don't love Mr. Connery and always have, but Mr. Craig can definitely put a big dent in that armor.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Down, girl!

Who needs porn when you can go online and get a shot of the nubile young Britney's snatch?

Ew.

SHAMELSS SELF-PROMO #13,298: (and porn)

Get a head start on your gift shopping and help support some starving artists. Mark your calendars for the first weekend in December and come to the 14th annual Fogbelt Studio Holiday Art and Craft Sale. 26 local artists will be selling their wares for reasonable prices - too much stuff to mention all at once. One guy last year came up to us and said he was really mad. We were, of course, alarmed, and asked him why. "Because I didn't know about this until now!!" he declared, arms loaded up with stuff. We were relieved. I will be selling fabric bookmarks, fun and very intoxicating cat toys (ask Buster), and whatever else I can sew up in time. This is one of the best sales I have not only participated in, but shopped at. Check it out!! (there's doorprizes and snax...)

Friday, 12/1 - 12 to 8
Saturday 12/2 10 to 6
Sunday 12/3 12 to 6

2528 25th Avenue between Ulloa and Vicente (it's a house)

JAPANESE ART PUSSY MASTER (good name for a cat toy!)

I think politicians should be fined huge amounts if they print more than one propaganda sheet per election. Same with folks who put all that crap on the ballot. I don't know about you, but I got a tree's worth of paper every day for weeks that I threw away without so much as a glance. Not to mention the phone books for state and local ballot stuff and the five double-sided pages of ballot. Can we have a little environmental responsibility here? Yeesh.

Thank heaven the election wasn't a bust like the last few. Go Nancy go!

MARY CAREY FOR GOVERNOR

So I have finally figured out a way for me to have Halloween candy leftovers. Both my housemates have really bad teeth! So I will make sure my contributions from now on are Abba Zabba, Laffy Taffy, Chewy Sweet Tarts, Look, Sugar Daddy, Big Hunk...... bwah ha ha

So I'm crushin' a little bit on Rob Zombie these days. I see him once in a while on horror movie scare fest countdowns or Criss Angel's show and he seems like a pretty okay guy. I've only seen one of his movies so far and it didn't make a lick of sense but I have Devil's Rejects on my Netflix list just for fun. I got a cd with a bunch of stuff on it and practically drove off the road banging my head to More Human Than Human. I told my kid sister that even her ole' sis needs to bang her head and drive too fast once in a while.

Zombie porn:
PORN OF THE DEAD

Missed my post cause it was my b'day yesterday. I went to my Mom's house on the condition that she let me watch the Project Runway Finale, which she did so I was a happy girl. I am not as squeaked by Jeffrey's neck (my sister and I just call him "boyfriend" because I had a dream about him early on wherein he was not my boyfriend but you know how these rumors get started) as Bee is, partly because I have seen worse, and it's not like boyfriend is so handsome that he has ruined himself, plus it's a tribute to his beloved baby boy. It does make his neck look huge, though. Maybe he did it there cause it was a good-sized canvas. Although I will never be thin enough to wear any of the Runway items, I would happily wear just about anything of Uli's and quite a bit of boyfriends (although at that point I would be accused of being age inappropriate). Excellent b'day all around and I still have events/gifts/cake coming up. Love the b'day week/month/as long as I can stretch it out.

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMO #2,976

My Hawaiian choral group, Na Leo Nahenahe, is performing this Sunday, October 15th:

Where: Lake Merritt United Methodist Church

1330 Lakeshore Avenue

Oakland, CA

When: 4:00 P.M.

Admission: $15 at the door

We are having some great special guests, including little kids doing hula, which is the best thing ever. Also slack key guitar, more hula, and singers besides us. Come get some aloha! You won't be sorry!

TROPICAL COCK-TALE