Alas, everything in my life seems to be pending....
more news and hopefully porn next time!

Sorry, no porn today. I've got some new guy who likes to talk dirty with me via IM and he took all my blog/porn time away. Plus the finale of Rockstar (I guess I need to assume next time that the guy I dislike from the get-go is going to win) and a great episode of Project Runway and my night is done. So, sorry.

Anybody out there got a new job for me that pays more than diddly-squat?

I have been a little bit immersed in magic stuff lately. I read a book called Not in Kansas Anymore, about how magic is changing America - pretty good and I got a lead on a great witch store near Santa Rosa. Magic in that context was not the illisionary kind but the spiritual kind. Next I read The Prestige, which is coming out as a movie soon with the dually yummalicious cast of Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, plus David Bowie will be playing Nikola Tesla. My sister got me the book a long time ago and I guess I had read it but didn't remember enough to put it down as an "I read this one" so enjoyed it a second time. In the middle of that, I went to see The Illusionist, which was wonderful. Edward Norton is so subtle. Now I'm reading a book called Brimstone.
Sensing a trend?


SEX MAGICIAN


p.s. I have to rant that I am horrified that John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson. Somehow thought he would go for more substance.

Well, I sent this to Linky-Loo but perhaps he thought it too porn-ish for his column. No worries. So here is a magic trick you'll never forget. Speakers on. Your nekkid girl fix o' the week. (for the squeamish, this is not really porn)

Better life, wax-end.
Better success, whitish-cream.

Better future, wreck-raising.

Better health, nimble-stepping.

(with a nod to LLMB for alerting me to the poetic possibilities of spam)

Buster sleeps head-to-head with me, pretty much, either curled up on my shoulder with his head on my cheek, or in my armpit/nook area. This morning he was in the nook, and I opened my eyes to find him just lying there gazing at me. Is a kitty's thoughts really like the old cartoon of a cat looking in a corner and the thought bubble is the corner? or is there a thought process? Is he thinking of how he'd really love to bite my chin, or when will I get up to get his breakfast, or just studying me like I study people I love when they are sleeping? Until he learns to speak as well as understand English, I guess I'll never know.

KUNG POW KITTY

Between Rockstar:Supernova eliminations and Project Runway on Wednesday nights I can't seem to remember my blog duties. Sorry!

I had something to say and forgot. As the saying goes "must have been a lie".

I'll try to do better next week....

Shameless self promo #137:

Come see me and my singing group, Na Leo Nahenahe, at the Aloha Festival this Saturday at 11:30 a.m. The festival goes on for 2 days, so even if you miss Na Leo, come check it out - booths, music, dancing, food, free admission. It is at the Presidio Parade Grounds, out there in front of the Officer's Club.

Check out this nice article in SF Gate, with a podcast.

It's summer!!!! 'Nuff said...

I'm kinda busy this week, lots of getting home lates. Didn't think about my rant. My only rant is against the people who walk into Joanns with the blackest of dark glasses on then can't see what you're pointing them toward. Where is it? Here? Here? Did you say this way? I was looking for green, is there any green? (Six shades of it in front of their face) Do these colors go together?

Take off your goddam sunglasses, ya geek!!!

Last week I decided to return to hula after a three-and-a-half year absence. I had seen a picture of my kumu and just missed him too much. It was great! Everyone remembered me and welcomed me back. I'm starting over, but that's okay - my hips are creaky.

The Aloha Festival is the first weekend of August, the 5th and 6th. It is in the Presidio at the parade grounds, and is free. It is two days of Polynesian music, dance, food, booths. My singing group, Na Leo Nahenahe, performs Saturday at 11:30 - come check it out!

MIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN

Hey all - hope you had a fun and fiery 4th!

In lieu of porn, I give you this dirty little ditty courtesy of ex-Westerner Wendy Miller:

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

Since I am at work and on dial-up, no porn pictures today.

I do have a non-porn movie review, though, unless scary movies are your porn. I watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" the other day. Bad title for a pretty rockin' movie. Good acting, no supernatural effects such as head-spinning and whatnot - nothing a human couldn't do under the right circumstances. You never REALLY know if it's really demons or if she is just seriously cukoo for cocoa puffs. But I have to say, I don't scare easy and I was pretty wound up. 3 a.m. will never be the same. Check it out.

Somehow I wound up with a magazine subscription to FHM (For Him Magazine). According to the label I am good until May of 07. Can't figure that one out, since the only thing I have subscribed to lately is Bon Appetit, and also because I am not a Him. Anyway, it has semi-naked girls romping around. Very tame, actually, which is kind of sexier, like Playboy used to be but not as innocent. Lots of porn stars. I do like one feature they have where people send in pictures where some unknown interloper has horned in to the shot. Sometimes the interlopers will be later identified by a reader, which is kind of awesome. They also have pics of wierd stuff people have captured with the cell phone cameras. Maybe someday the mystery will be solved, but until then these mags will pile up until I can pass them on to Manny.

My ultra-short vacation was a lot of fun. My sister's ex turned up at Dad's party wearing a shirt with his face and signature on it so it was kind of like Dad was there. My sister pretty much despises her ex, even though he is pretty great, so it was nice to re-connect with him. A lot of folks were there I had never met, my Dad's students, co-workers and customers. Many of them had heard of me through the years and it was nice to know Dad talked about me. My sister got delicately ever-so-tanked, and some of my stepmom's cronies got not-so-delicately tanked (taking incriminating photos of a passed-out buddy and such). One of my dad's buds brought a gallon pitcher of martinis with a giant martini glass full of olives (sorry ya missed it. Alan!). Excellent food, with piles of leftovers so vast even I brought some home in my little cooler.

Anyway, Harris Ranch Inn was pretty bitchin' - I hit the pool about 9 pm when I got in and it was perfect.



Okay, now my rant. I've been bottling this up for a long-ass time. The other night I was innocently watching America's Funniest Home Videos and they were showing a kid's birthday party. Suddenly, one kid gives a little belch and becomes a firehose of puke. He puked so much that he put his hand up and it was just deflected into a fountain. I was about to eat a nacho. This scene gave me pause, then pissed me off. When did it become okay to have puke scenes, either real or fictional, on every damn tv show and in every damn movie??? Was the puke scene in "Parenthood" such a hit that the studios said, "Hey! People love puke! Let's put it in everything!"? I freakin' HATE it. I guess when you've had kids or whatever, seeing someone barf is old hat, but I know there have to be other people out there that aren't diggin' it. Every cop show (mutilated body? puking cop), every medical show (a no-brainer), even the reality shows are getting on the bandwagon. I personally don't like to puke. The whole time I was a drunk I managed to avoid it. What's next? Peeing? Pooping? Ugh.

When I worked at the porn joint, my title o' the weekwas a movie they offered. They don't have it any more so I can't get the cover picture. There are several factions of fetishists who are into barf, but the most common is the "blow-job-induced-gag-and-puke" crowd. Just to be pronographically well-rounded, I downloaded some clips with Limewire, watched 'em, deleted 'em. Whatever...

VOMITORIUM

Getting ready to go to my Dad's wake. I am spending the night at Harris Ranch - full report next week.

TRAVELING FANTASIES



Love the description:
I'm Maki, I seem Like an ordinary girl, but out of the blue an experience that made me different!

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today....

I was in the hospital with acute pancreatitis, detoxing off of alcohol with vast quantities of Valium. Happy as a clam to be ridding myself of something that had turned out not to be such a good friend, after all.

Interesting to think that there is not one TNSC member who ever saw me with a real drink in my hand, although many of you have seen me with a beverage. People in my last 6 or so jobs have never seen me with a drink, but I have partied down with all of them.

Tonight I am going out with a fellow "friend of Bill W", who is celebrating 2 years. We and several of her friends are chowing down and then getting "chips", little plastic or metal pieces with numbers imprinted on them to represent years (or months, at first). I haven't been to a meeting in 7 years, since a different fellow friend took me to a lunchtime chip meeting to get my 13-year chip. But I remember the amazement I felt, and the hope, of seeing someone getting up to get their 20 year (or more) chips when I was still new and fragile. I want to repay that favor and maybe give another fledgling that same hope.

Please, have a really good drink tonight for me (I never got to have a Cosmo or a Mojito) - I still like to drink vicariously through my friends!

So I guess it is the end of an era.
Thanks for putting up with my rantings all these years - maybe we'll get to do it some more.
So, Cushie, good luck!
Keep in touch.
and...

LEAVE 'EM GAPING


P.S Buster is a year old today!!

My new passion is cooking. I am addicted to the website ecookbooks.com (Jessica's Biscuit) and the Food Network. My mission this weekend is to get some new pans. I have bookmarks on my computer for smoked salts and exotic sauces. I was a devotee of The Next Food network Star (my favorite won) and am currently avidly following Top Chef (my fave is in the top 3). I love watching knife skills, and turning food just by doing that little wrist-flip to the pan. I have always liked to cook, but got re-invigorated for some reason I'm not real sure how to pinpoint. Was it eating something really great and thinking, I need to know how to make this? Was it the Anthony Bourdain Les Halles cookbook that I got just because I like him but made me want to find veal bones for a demi-glace? I don't know. But I am rediscovering the joy of cooking (and I don't mean the book, even though I am glad it is in my library in case the world as we know it comes to an end and I need to learn how to skin and cook a squirrel). One really great thing is that my mom loves to cook, too, and we are planning some culinary adventures together. I still need to work on my organization, though. The other day I semi-burned a bunch of ingredients because I lost my can opener and had to run upstairs to figure out their electric one. I still haven't found my can opener.

SHE-MALE CHEFS

I'm kinda drawing a blank on the porn. Life is a bit dullish these days and there have been no events of interest to accompany a title. Buster is a big boy now, and will be a year old on May 10. He has kinda been the highlight lately, along with the re-emergence of the sun. I joined a Hawai'ian choral group (watch for us at the Aloha Festival the first weekend in August - we are called Na Leo Nahenahe). I got sent a box of Dad's stuff - some berets, a pocketknife, my report cards and some letters, a couple shirts. Reading a fun Dracula book called "The Historian". Getting back into cooking and am addicted to cookbooks and The Food Network. Trying to heal my leg with really painful excercises. Still haven't seen Manny's Red Bluff house. Making some baby quilts on commission. That's it. Have some fun outside!