By announcement time I will be well into my 11th straight day at work. I am a bit bleary, since I am also not sleeping that well, but I can see my Sunday in bed with my book and my kitty coming over the horizon.

Joann Fabric and Crafts did not renew our lease, and gave us 6 weeks to close up shop. If any of you needs a sewing machine I've got some fabulous deals. People are coming out of the woodwork and saying how much they are going to miss me, and quite a few of them are people I don't remember ever seeing before. I guess they are the "you don't miss your water till your well runs dry" kind of folks. I just smile and say Thanks.

HARD@WORK


(in case you didn't notice, Nina Hartley has the best ass in the business. She's getting pretty old, but her buns are still knockout.)

I got a CD stuck in my computer last week and it's been at the doctor. No porn.

I did find out that Buster has figured out that if he pushes that little button the CD tray goes in and out. Hours of entertainment. Fun, fun fun.....

There's been stuff in the news lately about a company called Meth Coffee. I know a lot of you are high-powered coffee drinkers and this guy has blended the brain power of Yerba Mate with the jitter power of good strong coffee. Not a coffee drinker myself, but I am a mate drinker, and it is pretty great stuff. Although he goes by the name "The Roaster" and has refused to divulge his identity (probably to protect himself from those up in arms about his perceived insensitivity to actual meth addicts), I am telling you about it because I know who he is. I am not in the lifestyle group he is marketing to, and as an ex-meth-head I can see why people get wound up, but I think the product itself is an interesting idea. He's a smart kid, and I'm sure he knows that he can't buy the kind of publicity he is getting from all the p.c. folks bringing it to everyone's attention. I have heard there is quite an appalling video on the website - maybe that can be your porn for today.

I went to my title site to find something about how freezing it is but the site wouldn't load. I guess it was freezing. ha! Anyway, it's freezing again. In case you didn't notice. What is the deal about global warming causing a new Ice Age? The science perplexes me.

My car has a check engine light that won't go off no matter what. New oxy sensor, new tires, alignment, tune-up, oil change, cleaning of the mass airflow sensor (found that little tip online). Next is a transmission service. I am also spozed to put a gas additive in next time I gas up. I have a wonderful mechanic, but this is really annoying. I refuse to take Bonny to the rip-off dealer. So I guess we'll just have to keep trying.

So, no porn this week due to technical error. I tried.

Hey and Happy New Year!

I am still in the "I did too much driving" state from my vacation and can't remember what day it is. Keep forgetting to write my rent check. Keep forgetting to send my IRS payment.

I'll porn up again soon, once I get my head on straight.

Okay, so THIS is my idea of porn. Yowza.


Anyone who is a "Sean Connery is the only Bond" snob needs to see Casino Royale. Not that I don't love Mr. Connery and always have, but Mr. Craig can definitely put a big dent in that armor.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Down, girl!

Who needs porn when you can go online and get a shot of the nubile young Britney's snatch?

Ew.

SHAMELSS SELF-PROMO #13,298: (and porn)

Get a head start on your gift shopping and help support some starving artists. Mark your calendars for the first weekend in December and come to the 14th annual Fogbelt Studio Holiday Art and Craft Sale. 26 local artists will be selling their wares for reasonable prices - too much stuff to mention all at once. One guy last year came up to us and said he was really mad. We were, of course, alarmed, and asked him why. "Because I didn't know about this until now!!" he declared, arms loaded up with stuff. We were relieved. I will be selling fabric bookmarks, fun and very intoxicating cat toys (ask Buster), and whatever else I can sew up in time. This is one of the best sales I have not only participated in, but shopped at. Check it out!! (there's doorprizes and snax...)

Friday, 12/1 - 12 to 8
Saturday 12/2 10 to 6
Sunday 12/3 12 to 6

2528 25th Avenue between Ulloa and Vicente (it's a house)

JAPANESE ART PUSSY MASTER (good name for a cat toy!)

I think politicians should be fined huge amounts if they print more than one propaganda sheet per election. Same with folks who put all that crap on the ballot. I don't know about you, but I got a tree's worth of paper every day for weeks that I threw away without so much as a glance. Not to mention the phone books for state and local ballot stuff and the five double-sided pages of ballot. Can we have a little environmental responsibility here? Yeesh.

Thank heaven the election wasn't a bust like the last few. Go Nancy go!

MARY CAREY FOR GOVERNOR

So I have finally figured out a way for me to have Halloween candy leftovers. Both my housemates have really bad teeth! So I will make sure my contributions from now on are Abba Zabba, Laffy Taffy, Chewy Sweet Tarts, Look, Sugar Daddy, Big Hunk...... bwah ha ha

So I'm crushin' a little bit on Rob Zombie these days. I see him once in a while on horror movie scare fest countdowns or Criss Angel's show and he seems like a pretty okay guy. I've only seen one of his movies so far and it didn't make a lick of sense but I have Devil's Rejects on my Netflix list just for fun. I got a cd with a bunch of stuff on it and practically drove off the road banging my head to More Human Than Human. I told my kid sister that even her ole' sis needs to bang her head and drive too fast once in a while.

Zombie porn:
PORN OF THE DEAD

Missed my post cause it was my b'day yesterday. I went to my Mom's house on the condition that she let me watch the Project Runway Finale, which she did so I was a happy girl. I am not as squeaked by Jeffrey's neck (my sister and I just call him "boyfriend" because I had a dream about him early on wherein he was not my boyfriend but you know how these rumors get started) as Bee is, partly because I have seen worse, and it's not like boyfriend is so handsome that he has ruined himself, plus it's a tribute to his beloved baby boy. It does make his neck look huge, though. Maybe he did it there cause it was a good-sized canvas. Although I will never be thin enough to wear any of the Runway items, I would happily wear just about anything of Uli's and quite a bit of boyfriends (although at that point I would be accused of being age inappropriate). Excellent b'day all around and I still have events/gifts/cake coming up. Love the b'day week/month/as long as I can stretch it out.

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMO #2,976

My Hawaiian choral group, Na Leo Nahenahe, is performing this Sunday, October 15th:

Where: Lake Merritt United Methodist Church

1330 Lakeshore Avenue

Oakland, CA

When: 4:00 P.M.

Admission: $15 at the door

We are having some great special guests, including little kids doing hula, which is the best thing ever. Also slack key guitar, more hula, and singers besides us. Come get some aloha! You won't be sorry!

TROPICAL COCK-TALE

Alas, everything in my life seems to be pending....
more news and hopefully porn next time!

Sorry, no porn today. I've got some new guy who likes to talk dirty with me via IM and he took all my blog/porn time away. Plus the finale of Rockstar (I guess I need to assume next time that the guy I dislike from the get-go is going to win) and a great episode of Project Runway and my night is done. So, sorry.

Anybody out there got a new job for me that pays more than diddly-squat?

I have been a little bit immersed in magic stuff lately. I read a book called Not in Kansas Anymore, about how magic is changing America - pretty good and I got a lead on a great witch store near Santa Rosa. Magic in that context was not the illisionary kind but the spiritual kind. Next I read The Prestige, which is coming out as a movie soon with the dually yummalicious cast of Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, plus David Bowie will be playing Nikola Tesla. My sister got me the book a long time ago and I guess I had read it but didn't remember enough to put it down as an "I read this one" so enjoyed it a second time. In the middle of that, I went to see The Illusionist, which was wonderful. Edward Norton is so subtle. Now I'm reading a book called Brimstone.
Sensing a trend?


SEX MAGICIAN


p.s. I have to rant that I am horrified that John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson. Somehow thought he would go for more substance.

Well, I sent this to Linky-Loo but perhaps he thought it too porn-ish for his column. No worries. So here is a magic trick you'll never forget. Speakers on. Your nekkid girl fix o' the week. (for the squeamish, this is not really porn)

Better life, wax-end.
Better success, whitish-cream.

Better future, wreck-raising.

Better health, nimble-stepping.

(with a nod to LLMB for alerting me to the poetic possibilities of spam)

Buster sleeps head-to-head with me, pretty much, either curled up on my shoulder with his head on my cheek, or in my armpit/nook area. This morning he was in the nook, and I opened my eyes to find him just lying there gazing at me. Is a kitty's thoughts really like the old cartoon of a cat looking in a corner and the thought bubble is the corner? or is there a thought process? Is he thinking of how he'd really love to bite my chin, or when will I get up to get his breakfast, or just studying me like I study people I love when they are sleeping? Until he learns to speak as well as understand English, I guess I'll never know.

KUNG POW KITTY

Between Rockstar:Supernova eliminations and Project Runway on Wednesday nights I can't seem to remember my blog duties. Sorry!

I had something to say and forgot. As the saying goes "must have been a lie".

I'll try to do better next week....