I have been trying to keep my war news viewing down to 15 minutes a day or less. The Fox News Network has the best coverage - more variety at least, except I don't like the reporter who looks like one of the marionettes from "Thunderbirds". CNN shows the same sad sacks over and over, pretending it's something new. ABC has one of the cutest on-site reporters but I can't remember his name.We are an interesting bunch - able to watch a war blow-by-blow, and be informed of every possible spin on every possible story. I was pretty creeped out right at the beginning, the morning they attacked the maybe-it's-Saddam-group, when they kept the camera trained on the same part of Baghdad, waiting for something to happen. All I could think about was - here we are spying with our little eye on a place on the other side of the world, and all that is happening is that the dawn is making all the birds sing, and the dogs are barking at the loud bangs. I heard trucks driving by, and the sounds of folks stirring to life in the wee hours. It could have been anywhere, could have been us.
WAR WHORES

I have to run an ad this week. Some of you know that I am a quilter, and if you want to see what the heck that's all about, come to the San Francisco Quilter's Guild Quilt Show, Symphony of Color, this weekend at the concourse on 8th and Brannan. Saturday 10 - 5, Sunday 10 - 4 (I'll be there that day) $8 to get in. Lots of exhibits. Lots of cool fabric artistry. I have 2 quilts in the show. COVER TO COVER

Trust me, I have nothing against riding a bicycle and in fact have one I love very much named Wind Frog (don't ask). I need to make a comment here, though. I drive through the Presidio and over the GG Bridge every day and see lots of people on bikes. Is it REALLY necessary to dress yourself like you are participating in the Tour de France just to take a nice bike ride on a sunny day? I can't help but look for registration numbers on these people. I understand EQUIPMENT - I have a helmet and gel-padded gloves and a gel seat and a water-bottle holder (with a green plastic Tweety Bird water bottle from Great America). However, a pair of leggings, or jeans with a ribbon around the ankle and a denim jacket usually do the trick. Maybe a sweatshirt if it is chilly. Or maybe a tank top if it is hot. I refuse to lay out a bunch of cash to emblazon myself with gaudy bike wear covered with logos (although I do kinda dig those flourescent jackets with the vented pits). If the manufacturers want me to be a billboard for them they can just give me the stuff and pay me to wear it. BUTT BANGED BICYCLE BABES

When I was 18 I went with my friend Donna (who I still know) to see our first porno movie. It was a little theater in Chino, a cowboy town southeast of the pastoral town of Claremont, where we lived. We were very excited and felt very naughty. The first feature was a ridiculous biker sort of thing, with phony sex (floppy limp ones banging away at nothing) and we felt kind of gypped. The next feature came on and we simultaneously said, "OOOooh,,,, mmmyyyyyyy....". You get the drift. The real thing. Close-ups of the pink. Early breast implant scars. The Works. I have been looking for this movie for a long time as a nostalgic souvenier of a more innocent time, and it is out on DVD now. I am thrilled. As soon as I have an extra $11.95 + S/H, it is MINE! Move over, Ms. Funicello and Mr. Avalon - it's time for BEACH BLANKET BANGO!