I was in Laguna Beach when the storm hit that brought a record number of inches to L.A. My sister's place is very window-y, and it was fun to watch the lightning and the trees whipping around. At one point the wind was really whistling, and my sister called out from her room "It's a twistah!"

Fortunately, it calmed down yesterday long enough for me to drive home without much incident. Saw snow on the Grapevine, and lots and lots of rainbows.

DVINE (LUV) CAVE #3 " STORM BRINGER "

Years ago I found an album (on vinyl - YEARS ago) by a guy named Stevan Pasero that was the Nutcracker played on classical guitar. It was pretty amazing and I gave it to a guitarist friend of mine, intending to purchase it again for myself. Of course, I never found it again (I just ordered it on CD from Amazon, although I have heard it is out of print). It did inspire a small quest of finding unusual versions of the Nutcracker for my Christmas listening pleasure. I have it by a mandolin group, played on toy instruments, by the Brian Setzer Orchestra, Duke Ellington's version, and my favorite, Spike Jones. Not to be confused with the more current Spike Jonze although they both have their quirks. The problem with Spike Jones is that once you hear his version you are ruined for life. Example: to the tune of the Dance of the Flutes: "D'ja ever see a tin flute dancing? Hmm? Ever see a piccolo could dance a jig? Here's the song they dance to when they get a chance to, it's a kind of a rinky-dinky ending with a whirligig." Can't ever take it seriously again.
NUTT CRACKERS

My poor little computer at home is a bit sick-ish. I think it just needs a good registry clean-up but until then it takes longer to boot it up than to write my rant. Therefore, I am writing this in rather too public a space to look at porn. I am afraid I cannot provide a title for you, much less a pic. So sorry. Better luck next week. In the meantime, to paraphrase Scoop Nisker, if you don't like the porn, go out and make some of your own.

Working inside Joann's I get the Christmas spirit really early. I'm glad I like Christmas and all its trappings and corny music or I'd be in Hell. You'd think that with my early indoctrination I'd have some of my shopping/gift making done. Nope. Not even started. Well, I've started in my head, which for me is half the battle. I have a list of who is getting what, which has some blank spaces, but new ideas spring forth daily. Lots of ideas, then I come home from work and watch CSI reruns and Lost (great show) and sit there like a lump. I am a serious deadline junkie. Whilst looking for a title that would give everyone a nice holiday warm fuzzy feeling, I came across this. If she is a just a D-cup, well, then I am just plain flat-chested. What do you think?
D-CUP HOLIDAY

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!

STUFF YOUR FACE AGAIN!

My heart is with Bishop today as she preps for her art reception. These things are rather fraught with anticipation. I have one coming up in January, and I have nothing new at all yet. Yipes. Anyway, good luck to her, and I hope her art is added to many homes and maybe a collection or two.
THE ASS COLLECTOR

Hey, isn't this Ann Coulter on the cover? Speaking of which, have you ever heard her be interviewed? She is such a wierdo that everyone is agog. She makes no sense at all. I know there are some smart Republicans out there - why can't they drag them out to write books???
LAWYERS IN HEAT (the main result of the election)

I love working inside the Joann's store during Hallowe'en. Kids come up with all these amazing costume ideas and their poor harried moms are frantically trying to make their costumes with absolutely no sewing knowledge or pattern or anything. One kid wanted to be a dracula werewolf ninja. Covering all the bases. Another little boy wanted to be Miss America and the mom didn't blink an eyelash - just point her to the sash material. One little girl is going to be the Black Fairy - no pink wings and tutu for that one - she apparently understands the evil requirements of the holiday. This Saturday will be less entertaining. All the teenagers and adults with last-minute (or no-so-last-minute) invitations will be flocking in to have the poor harried Joann's employees help them with some ill-thought-out and impossible costume concept. I tend to be similarly assauted, being trapped in my little kiosk, but I do my best, and it can be entertaining. Here is a title that, like the dracula-werewolf-ninja, covers lots of bases:
SEX VAMPIRE TERROR HOSPITAL
(sorry - picture wouldn't load, but it was just a Japanese chick showing you her butt crack)

I don't follow baseball much anymore but I know that last night's Sox victory was kind of miraculous. Now we get to see if we have a World Series between Texas and Massachusetts, which would mirror the presidential race. Maybe that's how we should decide. Maybe not.

COXXX & SOXXX

This is the last rant I will write while I am still in my 40s. Monday is the day, the big five-oh, the half-century mark. AACK!!! How did this happen?? Mostly I am okay, with a few twinges of knowing I won't live forever. It's wierd - I can feel it now - the end - even though I am hoping I can live to be pretty old. The carefreeness of my youth has a different aura - I can still be carefree, but with an undercurrent of responsibility. When I was about 19, a kid came to my door with a kitten and I took it. Today, although I would WANT to take the kitten, I would agonize over the expense, the not-kitten-proofed house, my time away from home, and most likely not take the kitty. And then be kind of sad and sorry that I have become such an "adult". I am less social, my friend base is smaller, I am happy to coccoon. My health and fitness have become a forefront issue. Most of my customers are in my age group - we talk about our failing bodies and the failing bodies of our friends and families. Well, at least I can still have the best kind of fun (and it does get better and better):
MY 50TH BIRTHDAY BANG

I have never been more heated about politics than I am at this juncture of my life. I was pretty vocal during the Bush/Clinton race, but not anything like now. I am actually taking steps to educate myself more about the issues. Today I read a transcript of the Bush/Kerry debate (torture) and am watching the Cheney/Edwards one right now. I told a friend that this is like Jesus debating Satan, but probably more like the Devil and Daniel Webster. I can say that Cheney is able to formulate a sentence, which I cannot say for his running mate Chatty Cathy, er, W. I have to confess it all makes my head hurt. It all boils down to this:
PROMISES AND LIES

Okay so I'm late. Been sickie-poo and have this stupid job that I can't call in sick to cause it's only ME. I had to miss the first damn party I've been invited to in at least a year, which made me even sicker. Hateful.
SLIGHT FEVER SYNDROME complete

I guess I should rouse myself from my Olympics coma long enough to do my little jobbie here. I LOVE the Olympics and have ever since my heart was stolen by Jean-Claude Killy back in, what, '68? I wrote a really angry letter to NBC after the last summer round, telling them that I know they do all the damn profiles and backstories and travelogues and whatnot to attract the female audience, but I am a female and I want to see some goddam SPORTS!!! I must not have been the only one, cause they scaled back on most of that crap, and it has been sports! lots of sports! Finally, I saw some fencing, and ping-pong, and trampoline, and archery! Field hockey, soccer, sailing, wrestling! Boxing, track, water polo, and SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING (those girls are SO strong)! Teams that aren't from here! I have even seen some medal ceremonies that did not involve The Star Spangled Banner. Did NBC finally get some advice from ABC? There are always irritating commentators, and stupid questions, and orchestrated "drama", but all in all I am happy with this session. Guess I'll write another letter to NBC thanking them, and telling them to please get rid of Bob Costas already. He's had too many facelifts.
Here is a sport I have NOT seen:
MEGA BOOB OLYMPICS

I am finally getting on a plane and going away. Not far, just Laguna Beach, but I haven't been on a plane since the big attack. Jet Blue, which I am told is THE flying experience, from Oakland to Long Beach, which my sister says is more like a Safeway than an airport. I found a long-term lot that is free through August, so I am set. I will finally get some quality time with my sister, which I haven't had much of in the last couple years, and some time at a beach where the water temp won't kill you in 20 minutes.

As a side note, I finally saw Bubba Ho-Tep, based on a story by tnsc robot's favorite author Joe Lansdale. It's not easy to explain but go rent it. Tonight. No, wait, it's club night. Get it tomorrow.

BUSTER GOES TO LAGUNA
(For some reason all the Laguna porn is gay. Maybe I'm hitting the wrong town for my vacation!)

I'm too sleepy to have an opinion on anything.....
SLEEPY HEAD

I think I'm the only one in the world (except my friend Mike, who is sick of everyone and everything) who is sick to death of Lance Armstrong. Yes, yes, he is a great athlete and overcame cancer and goes out with Sheryl Crow, but does he have to advertise EVERYTHING???? Part of me hopes he wins the TdeF because it would be an awesome achievement, and part of me hopes he loses so maybe he'll lose a couple of endorsement gigs.

BIKE MESSENGERS PEDALING ASS

If (WHEN!)the Kerry/Edwards ticket wins, will it be the first time we have two Johns in the White House? Will prostitution jokes run amok? Will people ask the VP to contact their dead relatives? Will they have to privately be known as John 1 and John 2, or will they do initials like J.K. and J.E.? J.E. is funky to say out loud. Does it make John Kerry nervous that his initials are J.F.K.? Is John Edwards sick of people asking him to contact their dead relatives?
THE SUBMISSIONS OF JOHNS

Tonight I decided to take myself out to see Harry Potter, as it was playing down the street from where I work at the mighty Corte Madera Theater. It looked like way too many people milling around for a Wednesday night and a movie that has been out for a while. Saw on the marquee that it was another movie, that I thought was opening this weekend. I know that screenings happen at this theater but I decided to see if it was a public thing. I parked and went up to the front, and a kid came up to me and said - "Want a free ticket? I don't need it" - Sure, thanks! So I went in and found a decent seat and went on the wonderful ride that is Spiderman 2. (Thumb WAY up)

Somebody please invent a mini-taser or something to fling at kids on cels in the theater.

THE SPIDER'S KISS

I went on a job interview the other day and it was wierd - the first ones always are. It is a small company and I walked in thinking "oh not this funky kind of place again" but by the time I actually got in to the interview and had watched some interactions and transactions I realized I kind of missed that little company family feeling. The guy seemed nice, the interview went well, and I think I'll be going in again next week. It is in South City, so I stopped in at La Tapatia for some gorditos, guacamole and Crema Salvadorena, along with a vat of those japapeno-soaked carrot chunks. Mmmmmmm..... Anyway, I digress. This time I would be going from porn to sewing to CHOCOLATE! Fortunately, they deal in massive amounts for bakers and restaurants so I might be safe from becoming the circus Fat Lady.
INTERVIEW WITH A GODDESS
interview.bmp

I took Manny on a drive up Highway 1 last weekend. He drives for a living but since only the small trucks get that route and he drives big rigs, he had never been on that road. Very curvy road but he is not one of those carsick-passenger folks so we had a good time. We got routed on a detour road up by Bodega Bay that was worth the whole trip - through woods and fields and then up over the bay with spectacular views. I drove side-by-side with a duck or some water fowl for a while - I'd look over and it was flapping along. We turned inland on route 116 and drove along the Russian River, a path I had never taken, then headed to Santa Rosa and north. We landed in Cloverdale of all places, so obviously the destination was less important than the journey.

Hey all - hope you all have a nice long weekend. Since I'm off Monday anyway I sort of miss out on all that. I am hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that Manny gets the weekend off so we can go away for the first time in almost 2 years. I need you all to hope and pray with me, please.
This sounds like fun:
MEMORIAL DAY WET T & A

This is not really porn. Well I guess it could be if you stretch. Somebody sent me this a long time ago and I rediscovered it when I was purging my pic files. I think it is funny is all. The title is MORNING BREATH. Kinda sums things up.

My cousin and I have been having an ongoing theoligical argument off and on for several years. She is born-again and we have differing opinions. Well. I was not really putting 2 and 2 together when she started sending me various email forwards about Iraq and voting Republican and whatnot until I sent her a reply to one she sent that is an alleged letter from a soldier talking about all the great things we have accomplished in Iraq and that the people want us there, etc., telling her that she could send me all the propaganda she wanted but I am never voting for that man. Well. Hello. I guess I never realized that she is Christian Right! What a wake-up. She called me a "leftist" and accused me of not being interested in facts or truth, among other things. I sent her a rather heated, but pretty informed, response and haven't heard back. So in her honor, here is this week's title:
BRING BACK THE BUSH

Well. my week has been kind of death-ish. Wendy's sister O.D.'d and Manny's mom died of cancer. Get this, not only did Manny not know his mom was sick (it was a quick one), she died on Monday and he wasn't told until Friday! Someday I have to find out who to really hate in his whack little family. Of course, he is being manly and stoic and doesn't want me to comfort or assist him in any way, which leaves me helpless. Wendy, of course, talks everything out so is processing well. Grieving, but processing. It helped to find out her sister had been lying about being clean and had been using again for a long time. We thought she had had a slip and just took too much.

Naturally I can't think of porn for this kind of thing, so I will concentrate on politics. Can Dubya look any more stupid? Will Kerry (spookily initialed JFK) be able to oust the bastard? Will he just be another kind of bastard? Is Iraq the new Vietnam? Will America be saved?
PRESIDENT - Horny Slutty President's Gives A Cum Shot Business

I know a lot of people think Woody Allen is a pervert. I wonder what he'd think of this!
HANNAH DOES HER SISTERS
hannah.bmp

I forget that not everyone thinks like I do and have been a bit surprised when people I think are fairly liberal are repelled by my announcement that Mike and Abel got married(Mike and Abel are my housemates - Mike and I have been friends for 20 years). I actually took time off work to go be their witness and photographer. Later that very day the weddings were stopped. It was wonderful - seeing my best friend, who had been looking for love for so long, taking those vows with a man truly in love with him and vice versa. How can that not be good? Are all those reality wedding shows not desecrating the institution of marriage? Britney was "married" for 55 hours - the first gay couple married had been together for 51 years when they were finally wed. Abel has a lot to say about it - namely that if he is not enough of a citizen to get married then he is not enough of one to pay taxes. Hmmm...
HOMO SAPIENS

I am at work and can't go on the porn site to find you a title. I can tell you a porn story, sorta. Mainly that if you are watching porn with a guy with a dvd player, the whole movie lasts maybe 10 minutes and the whole train of the story is lost. Chapter Skip is very different from Fast Forward. With Fast Forward you can be much more selective than with Chapter Skip (or whatever it's called). I was looking forward to whole scenes I never even saw a speck of (it was something I'd seen before, one of the Devil In Miss Jones series, I think #3 or #4). Oh well, the one with the remote is the one with the power.

My housemate Abel summed up the gay marriage debate by pointing out that what is primarily happening all over the country when Gavin is on the news is, "He's cuuuuute! Is he gay? No? He's cuuuuute!".
MARRIAGE AND OTHER FOUR LETTER WORDS

Okay, here's your title: ANY DORM IN A STORM
Here is a picture of MY dorm in the storm

Well better late than never I guess. I am so out of the loop. Was nice to see you club members that were at Chef's tribute. I am currently making curtains for my mighty man Manny and sometimes I wonder why I volunteer myself for such grueling excercises. Making him go to the fabric store was worth it, at any rate. He was traumatized but we got through it. Anyway, sorry I didn't post on time.

Well, nothing quite suited the current situation. Hoist a glass for our dear departed Club member and his widow, and I'll be back in form next week.