Since I am at work and on dial-up, no porn pictures today.

I do have a non-porn movie review, though, unless scary movies are your porn. I watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" the other day. Bad title for a pretty rockin' movie. Good acting, no supernatural effects such as head-spinning and whatnot - nothing a human couldn't do under the right circumstances. You never REALLY know if it's really demons or if she is just seriously cukoo for cocoa puffs. But I have to say, I don't scare easy and I was pretty wound up. 3 a.m. will never be the same. Check it out.

Somehow I wound up with a magazine subscription to FHM (For Him Magazine). According to the label I am good until May of 07. Can't figure that one out, since the only thing I have subscribed to lately is Bon Appetit, and also because I am not a Him. Anyway, it has semi-naked girls romping around. Very tame, actually, which is kind of sexier, like Playboy used to be but not as innocent. Lots of porn stars. I do like one feature they have where people send in pictures where some unknown interloper has horned in to the shot. Sometimes the interlopers will be later identified by a reader, which is kind of awesome. They also have pics of wierd stuff people have captured with the cell phone cameras. Maybe someday the mystery will be solved, but until then these mags will pile up until I can pass them on to Manny.

My ultra-short vacation was a lot of fun. My sister's ex turned up at Dad's party wearing a shirt with his face and signature on it so it was kind of like Dad was there. My sister pretty much despises her ex, even though he is pretty great, so it was nice to re-connect with him. A lot of folks were there I had never met, my Dad's students, co-workers and customers. Many of them had heard of me through the years and it was nice to know Dad talked about me. My sister got delicately ever-so-tanked, and some of my stepmom's cronies got not-so-delicately tanked (taking incriminating photos of a passed-out buddy and such). One of my dad's buds brought a gallon pitcher of martinis with a giant martini glass full of olives (sorry ya missed it. Alan!). Excellent food, with piles of leftovers so vast even I brought some home in my little cooler.

Anyway, Harris Ranch Inn was pretty bitchin' - I hit the pool about 9 pm when I got in and it was perfect.



Okay, now my rant. I've been bottling this up for a long-ass time. The other night I was innocently watching America's Funniest Home Videos and they were showing a kid's birthday party. Suddenly, one kid gives a little belch and becomes a firehose of puke. He puked so much that he put his hand up and it was just deflected into a fountain. I was about to eat a nacho. This scene gave me pause, then pissed me off. When did it become okay to have puke scenes, either real or fictional, on every damn tv show and in every damn movie??? Was the puke scene in "Parenthood" such a hit that the studios said, "Hey! People love puke! Let's put it in everything!"? I freakin' HATE it. I guess when you've had kids or whatever, seeing someone barf is old hat, but I know there have to be other people out there that aren't diggin' it. Every cop show (mutilated body? puking cop), every medical show (a no-brainer), even the reality shows are getting on the bandwagon. I personally don't like to puke. The whole time I was a drunk I managed to avoid it. What's next? Peeing? Pooping? Ugh.

When I worked at the porn joint, my title o' the weekwas a movie they offered. They don't have it any more so I can't get the cover picture. There are several factions of fetishists who are into barf, but the most common is the "blow-job-induced-gag-and-puke" crowd. Just to be pronographically well-rounded, I downloaded some clips with Limewire, watched 'em, deleted 'em. Whatever...

VOMITORIUM