The job I am doing is so crazy and frustrating that I come home every night slack-jawed. I don't even have time to write my rant or go online or check my email. Today my Outlook crashed every time I tried to open it. My boss doesn't think it has anything to do with the fact that there may easily be 50,000 emails in there. He is a hoarder in every way. The filing cabinets have stuff from 1999, with little lists on the drawers to tell you what is in them which are mostly wrong. I am waiting for a system-wide implosion.

SLAVEGIRL OF ZOR

Hey, so I attended a training session last night and am officially allowed to don the big white hazmat suit and clean oily goo off the beach. Of course, there were the usual PC whiners who got all wound up about the toxic effects and everything and it was all I could do to keep from yelling out "if you're so damned worried about it why the FUCK are you here???" Hmph.

TOXIC ORGY PARTY

This weekend is the San Francisco Green Festival. This is not a Festival of the Color Green, which could be interesting and definitely lead to a whopper of a headache. It is a Festival of the Ecologically Conscientious. Organics, Sustainables, Compostables, Biodegradables, Solar-powered. Because I work for a "green" company I am beholden to go spread the word. One thing I noticed about "green" stuff is that is can be freakin' spendy. But that's okay. The comfy yoga clothes are all various colors of sage, french blue, berry, and natural. As are the towels and sheets. Lots of stuff is made of hemp and bamboo and is quite pretty. The candles are soy and beeswax and burn clean.

I think the hardest thing for the green community to dispel is the idea that eco-conscious folks are unwashed and use natural deodorant that doesn't work very well, and toothpaste that tastes like fennel. There is an ad campaign for Subaru that features a handsome man who looks like he slept in his clothes and shaved in cold water with a knife. The ad talks about the energy efficiency of the car, of course. I kind of don't get it.

I guess I'll find out when I go to the festival and hang with some potentially smelly natural deodorant wearing green folk with fennelly breath.

FESTIVAL OF FETTERS (Saran wrap is definitely not earth-friendly!)