Okay, so I got Felix all set up, except they gave me the wrong kind of printer so I had to go get that taken care of but everything is okay.

I did have quite a time putting my table together. Each leg had 5 phillips-head screws and the principle was very simple - screw the metal leg holders to the tabletop, then screw in the legs. What they fail to mention is that the screws are so freakin' cheap that each turn of the driver actually routs out the screw head until you can no longer turn the screws. I was leaning in with all my might, sweat popping from my brow, to make a quarter turn.

Now, I had borrowed the screwdriver from my housemates to begin with. They had been hanging curtain rods all morning so had the tools out. I staggered upstairs to complain about the screws and moan that what I needed was a drill with driver bits. Not only did they have the bits, they had been using MY DRILL! I went back down and zzzttt zzzttt zzztt all done. God Almighty. My palms are still bruised.

SCREWED TIGHT

Well, the decision has been made. Buddy is having his final days as my computer and Felix will be taking over soon. I am naming him after Felix the Cat, who had that nice bag of magic and friends named Poindexter and Vavoom. Am I the only person who remembers Vavoom? He had such a loud vavoom holler he could fell trees. I had to become an adult before knowing that Master Cylinder was a car part and not just a Felix villain. I used to watch Felix in Ohio on a show hosted by Chuck Jones the Magic Man. Not to be confused with Chuck Jones the animator.

(I haven't seen a pic of him till just now. Looks just the same.)
Anyway I am naming my new computer Felix because Felix is cool and magical and has smart, efficient sidekicks. And hopefully won't decide to be more like this girl...
FELIX VICIOUS


This chick reminds me way too much of Mariah Carey.

I recently came into a little unexpected cash from my grandma's estate. I thought there wouldn't be anything left after her insurance fiaso and health care costs. After being so strapped for so long it is wierd to have money in the bank. I can pay off my car, get caught up with some things.

Yesterday I found myself shopping for a new computer. Mine has been unstable for a while and I have fallen out of love with it, kind of like when I fell out of love with my car Spike when he broke down on Christmas Eve several years ago and I bought Bonny. My computer's name is Buddy. How can I get rid of Buddy?? What can I name a new computer that has the emotional impact and trustworthiness of "Buddy"? Fido? Spot? I guess I'll think of something but I am having separation anxiety. Not to mention not looking forward to starting over with an unfamiliar operating system. I have been backing everything up for a few months in anticipation of the big crash, so have all my photos, documents, 10-second porn clips.

Anyway, it is nice to have this money, and I am hoping I do what Grams would have wanted me to do. Well, she would want me to bank it all. I am banking some. But not ALL...

IN THE MONEY

Have you ever done a big expensive shop at Safeway (or other big market) only to find that you have nothing to eat? Maybe a block of cheese if you're lucky. Happens to me more than I like. I must get sidetracked by all the junk food. I tend to buy my produce elsewhere because the prices are too high for what is ultimately tasteless fruit. Last week I started a small crusade to improve my eating habits, inspired in part by being a blob and in part by tips given in the book "French Women Don't Get Fat". I went shopping at Rainbow Grocery, which has always made me quake in fear of the sticker shock. Imagine my surprise when, for the same horrifying sum I usually spend for no food, I got tons of food! I have food in the house! I can fix a little something for my mid-morning yogurt snack, fix a lunch to take if I want, and have ingredients to throw something actually yummy together for dinner. For several days! What a revelation! I got this little melon called an Ambrosia that was a delight with every sweet bite.

Speaking of melon, this is just WRONG! I may never eat watermelon again. Boys.
FOOD FUCK